You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
