are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
