i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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