Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I enjoy the company of your penis
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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