my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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