What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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