So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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