Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
