im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
