you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
