tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
