so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
