fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
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