What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
