I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Found the puke drawer
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
