I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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