"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
