You work out of a Hotel?
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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