You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
