I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
