If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
