now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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