I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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