I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
