Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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