All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
