did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
