We got so high we made milksteak
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
