he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
