Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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