I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
