i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
