I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dear god my vagina.
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