Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
