In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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