But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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