so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
