And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
