So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
