After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
