96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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