I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
