oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is it penis luge time yet?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
