You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
