So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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