Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
