I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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