Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
