dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
