I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
