forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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